I’m supposed to have a session with Mr. Wycked. And I’m seriously pinging. The little dude won’t sleep or eat. I’m cranky from the fact that he wouldn’t sleep last night.

And I’m afraid I’m going to forget some detail of being ready. I’m still not in a groove yet, so it would be so easy to forget an instruction or task so easily.

And I’m just spinning, not in a good way, afraid of failing.

Not seriously afraid, but worried that I will get so caught up in the minutiae of mundane stuff, and my serious sense of perfectionism, that I won’t get this submission thing right. That what will come out is not submission, but all of my frustration, my whining, my imperfections, all out there for him to see. Not like I seriously think I’m perfect, of course. LOL. (The visual reminder of all of this fucking laundry seems to be in my face reminding me of that). But I want to be perfect at this.

And I’m beyond frustrated that I’m just not.

And it’s bugging me.

Raven