Oh what a journey this is shaping up to be!

I had a session with my dominant Thursday night; a time of clarification of boundaries and expectations, a time of play and exploration, and a time of punishment. I know, it’s just astounding to believe I would have tested the very first rule I requested, the very first couple of weeks.

Stop snickering.

Since I know no one’s on here with any voyeuristic instincts and just wants to read my philosophical ponderings on the whole experience rather than reading any word pictures of how punishment or play might have looked, I’ll oblige.

The whole experience left me feeling profoundly blessed and grateful – to him for getting it and giving me the many different parts of what I need; to my spouse for trusting me/us with our respective journeys; and to the Divine for the blessing of getting this gift at what seems to be the perfect time in my life.

Oh – did you say you really did want to know specifics?

On the topic of rules and expectations and consequences, we took a moment to clarify how that will work between us. Mainly, he reassured me in words that he takes that part seriously; that he might not remind me, and he won’t necessarily tell me all week just what it is that I’ve earned. It may not always be a spanking. But I’m entrusting him with this – to help me reinforce some habits I’ve had mixed success with reinforcing on my own and giving me a safe way to blow off steam and experience a sense of beginning again when I fail, rather than getting caught up in a tailspin of “I never do xxx right, so I might as well stop trying”

That was how the rule – the one I requested – of drinking a minimum of 8 glasses of water a day went. (I requested this rule because I suck at drinking enough water, and I’ve been hospitalized for dehydration before when left to my own devices on this one, not to mention the regular headaches I get when I try to live on coffee and Mountain Dew). It went well for about 2 days. 3 if I round up on the water I drank the third day. And then I just sort of got into a mood, and in my mind, said, “fuck it” and promptly stopped being clear with him about how I was faring with this rule, along with not drinking water altogether. I also had asked him to check in with me on my school work for my MPA program. While I’m willing to be somewhat gentle with myself with the reality that I’m balancing grad school with work and parenting 2 small children, it’s also easy to use that as an excuse to forgo doing homework. That leaves me at the end of each class scrambling to read, write papers, and be ready for finals, which doesn’t exactly bring out the most pleasant aspects of my personality.

After having to admit this to him, he reassured me with his actions that he takes this part seriously. He paddled me. From my perspective, it felt hard, primarily because there was no warmup. Let me tell you that 7 swats with a heavy wood paddle feels like much longer of a paddling than it looks like in text. It was intense, both emotionally and physically, and when it was over, the sense of relief I felt was something I have missed in a very long time.

Incidentally, I’ve not been at all tempted to ease up on the water drinking these past 2 days, and lest you think it’s due to the promise that the punishment will be doubled next time, I think it’s more related to the reality that I really don’t want to have to look him in his amazing eyes and admit choosing not to obey. Funny how that works.

But on to more interesting matters. Assuming, of course, you think the thought of my pussy being cropped and whipped, then alternating with being teased with a Hitachi magic wand is interesting, of course.

Really, I didn’t think you did, either. ;-)

Hm…maybe I should do some homework before continuing.

Playfully,
Raven